Are You Grieving and Angry with God?
Over the years, I have counseled so many people in the areas of grief. Oftentimes, they are grieving and angry with God. Some are ashamed to admit this, but I can clearly see that they are upset because they have turned their ears and sometimes their hearts away from Him.
Grieving is such a hard process. No matter how hard this is, it seems that anger always wins. “God did this!”, “I just want to scream!”, “I feel guilty for being so Angry with God.”
Does any of this sound familiar? Because being angry with God after the loss of your loved one is completely natural. We spend all our time asking God for the healing of our sick loved ones, or to not let the news of the loss of life after the car crash to not be true. The scenarios are endless and each one is as devastating as the last. They are gone and It’s final, they’re not coming back.
Grief is not linear but most models, specifically by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross have developed a theory of the seven steps to grieving and anger is one of the top three. Anger is the step aftershock, and then denial. Anger is the one that will recur frequently after the news has sunk in, after the funeral is over, and even years down the road.
The good news is, it is ok, it’s natural. And it is something God is expecting. He better than anyone understands the pain and anger involved in completing the natural grieving process.
As David wrote in Psalms 119:50 he explains that “This is my comfort, my consolation, and my breath of fresh air in the midst of my loss and depression that Your Word Nourishes and repairs me. It revives my life, and your promises restore me and make me whole.”
He also writes in Psalms 56:8 that he tells God; “Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll”
Again, he writes in Psalms 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
In Psalms 59:16 he again confirms God’s abundant Love for you when he says, “you are my protection, my place of safety in times of trouble.”
You see God does not promise that we won’t go through hard times. He does not promise that we will not have heartache or experience the death of those we love. But he does promise that no matter what we go through he will never leave us or forsake us. He will be there with you through the news of the loss, he will be right beside you when you make your loved one’s funeral arrangements, he will walk with you to the graveyard, and be with you when you cry in the shower. He will be right with you when anger flashes through you and you scream at him in anger. He will wait with you as you walk into the closet, take down her clothes, and put them away or donate them to your local charity. He will stay by you through the next flash of anger, and then again as you finally find your peace and start to laugh again. He cares, through it all he cares Always and forever.
The scripture that says it all to me is in Ecclesiastes 3 when He tells us “ To everything, there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted: a time to kill, and time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sow; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and time hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. This simply tells me there is a time for every emotion under heaven, even ANGER, and God can handle that emotion too!
