In His Time: A Journey of Love, Loss, and Restoration

In His Time: A Journey of Love, Loss, and Restoration

In His Time: A Journey of Love, Loss, and Restoration 

Written By: Stephanie Salinas Roman

"I’m sorry, but your father is dead..."

My mission to find my father was accomplished – yet I was left with a shattered heart.

At seventeen, I grabbed a phone book and called all the people with his last name in the valley area of Texas, asking for my father. I was just a daughter looking for her father…

That is life, unfortunately. But that is not the story I will tell you.

My story is one of hope in the middle of heartache because there is hope in the Lord.

At eighteen, I traveled to Texas to meet my aunt, who shared the sad news about my father. I met some cousins and another aunt. I left, and life happened.

I found out I had two half-brothers and kept in touch with one through the years. Phone calls became video calls, and we could finally see each other. It was a face to the voice of a man who also lived a broken life, one who loved me and accepted me as his sister.

I continued my education; my career path is one of high demand and long hours. I worked full-time and went to school at night full-time for a couple of years.

I prayed for an opportunity to meet my brother in Mexico. I longed to visit my father’s grave, to take him flowers, and to touch the ground six feet above his body.

An Answered Prayer: In His Time

I promised my brother I would visit him one day.

At thirty-seven years old, 20 years later, God answered my prayer but it was in His time!

I was now prepared to visit my father’s hometown, my family roots, and my blood. I am from there, and the blood in my veins will always know my homeland.

God goes before us and is with us always. I prayed and asked God to please let me share His love and goodness with my father’s family. This was my mission but it would happen in His time.

As I walked the streets that my father once walked, I felt connected to him.

For a short time, I was among his people, my people, and they embraced me with love and kindness.

I laughed, cried, hugged all my family members, and said, “I love you.”

God loves us, and we are called to love those around us – strangers and family.

I had moments of “thank you, God, nothing happened to me” and laughed at myself because I didn’t know any better. Heating water is necessary, to say the least. We are so fortunate to live in America and have the luxury of just getting in the shower.

Walking everywhere was so foreign to me. I walked with my sister-in-law late in the evening to buy our dinner for that night. I don’t know if I was scared or curious, but we made it home safely with fresh flour tortillas, meat, and a coke bottle.

I wanted to embrace the moments as they came, so I didn’t overthink it. I went with the flow of each thing we did. I embraced the trip God blessed me to experience through His love and protection and it was all, in His time.

Connecting To My Culture: In His Time

The trip to the Plaza was so enriching as I saw the different vendors and everyone speaking my native language. There was laughter, kids playing, and a corner food vendor with elotes – oh my God, it was the best.

Walking through the park at night, there were young couples holding hands, kids playing, and everyone eating from the food trucks all around the park. Sitting on the bench, I enjoyed some Flaming Hot Cheetos and corn. I had tried something new, but it was very spicy.

Hamburgers were for dinner one night with my brother’s family; as we sat down, our number 24 was placed on the table. I enjoyed seeing my brother and his little boy enjoyed their meals. The days were going by so fast.

At the laundromat, I saw an elephant figurine on the countertop, which is one of my favorite animals. I knew I was where I was supposed to be. I was at peace and I knew that everything was happening...in His time.

Visiting My Father's Grave: In His Time

My father’s grave – my heart was pounding, and tears rolled down my face as my brother helped me pick out the biggest red cross to put on his grave. I was happy. I was sad. I was everything that words can’t explain. How do you let those emotions out when you want to see your father’s grave and bring him a gift of the cross, the love of Jesus Christ? We returned to plant flowers – corona de cristo, aloe vera, and a pine tree. I love you, Papa.

Creating Memories: In His Time

Christmas and New Year’s celebrations with my brother’s family are some of the best memories of love and laughter. Playing Loteria and giving my brother the bag of coins I won all night, even if I did fall asleep through the games. My brother would clap his hands to wake me up – it was as if we had lived with each other for years and years because we joked with each other like siblings.

My father’s brother, my only uncle, drove me back to Texas. I am forever grateful for his kindness in waking up at 6 am after New Year’s so I could start my journey back home. We talked as we waited to cross the border. He told me stories of his work, health, and family.

When I arrived back in Texas, I visited my other brother, aunts, grandfather, and cousins. My grandfather, a wise man at 95 years old, met me for the first time. I enjoyed a meal of my aunt’s tamales with him. I ate them all, even if I ate them all week. I was not going to turn away my aunt’s food. I ate everything they offered me with love. And I may have gained more than love during this trip – another story.

Restoration: In His Time

My goodbye – when I went to my grandfather’s room to say goodbye, he was doing his crossword puzzle. I bent down to look him in his eyes and to tell him I got to visit his son and that I loved him. He said to me, “Como da vuelta el mundo.” I cried and finally released my emotions of the brokenhearted child inside me. At that moment, I felt a father’s love as he held my face with his tender hand and kissed my cheek. I was loved; I was always loved.

God showed me His love through my family during this trip. I am forever grateful for the grace of God over my life. For the power of forgiveness and restoration. God is always faithful. In His time, He makes everything beautiful (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

Our hope is in the Lord – never give up on the impossible and remember that everything happens.

My prayer for you reading this is that God will show you what He has for you, that He will pour His love and favor over your life, and that your prayers will be answered in the least expected moment....In His Time – have faith. God sees you!

Author's Bio:

Stephanie Salinas Roman is a writer and poet who enjoys sharing her work with others. She holds a BS in Criminal Justice with a minor in Community & Justice Studies from Guilford College in Greensboro, NC. Faith, family, and friends are very important to Stephanie. She enjoys spending time with her family and friends in the countryside, where she finds inspiration to write. Poetry has always been her creative outlet since she was a teenager. She aspires to be a supportive and encouraging woman of God through her words and creativity.

* To connect with the author, Mrs. Stephanie Salinas Roman visit her Instagram page. Comment down below to let us know how her story resonates with you!